If you are experiencing conflict with someone at work, there are lots of reasons to go into workplace mediation – explored here. The main reason is to reach an agreement that resolves the issues.  Other benefits include creating a better understanding of what each other needs from the working relationship, building empathy and increasing confidence to address issues quickly and directly in future.

But – transformative as it can be – mediation isn’t a panacea for all workplace conflict issues.  There are times when other options may be more helpful.  This blog post considers three concerns that may mean that other options would be more suited to resolve the issues.

When one of the parties doesn’t really want to mediate

For workplace mediation to be successful, however you define success, it requires the support of all parties involved.  They need to want to resolve the issues that are causing friction in the relationship.

So, why wouldn’t you want to resolve those issues?  Well, perhaps one of the parties considers an alternative dispute resolution method is going to give them a better result.  They want their voices heard and see ‘having their day in court’ as the way to do that. 

The irony is that you may be more likely to have your voice heard in mediation. Matthew Syed’s Sideways podcast episode, ‘A Question of Justice’, exploring restorative justice highlighted this.  The parents of a young man killed by a gang went to court. But they found that the hearing was particularly distressing. They felt that they were, at that point in the justice process, almost incidental.  They turned to restorative justice to have their voices heard and acknowledged.

As a mediator, sometimes one of the parties tells me that they want to get justice through the legal system. If that happens, I will respect that.  But I do explore with them what ‘justice’ means for them.  And we discuss how that might be best achieved.  Ultimately, it’s the parties’ choice to take part in mediation or not.  It’s not my role to talk them into it.

Entrenched positions, unwilling to negotiate

Are the parties or a party taking an absolute position regarding what they want from the negotiation? This could be an indicator that they don’t really want to mediate.  By its nature, workplace mediation gives the parties to hear directly from each other. They discuss mutually beneficial ways to resolve their issues. It rarely involves one party accepting another party’s demands in their entirety, with no accommodations to their own position. 

When a party is unwilling to discuss or even consider making any changes to their own position or behaviour, it is an indication that workplace mediation may not be helpful.

It’s not safe

This is a very clear-cut reason not to mediate. If there are circumstances where there may be violence between the parties, then workplace mediation is not suitable. As a mediator, I take my responsibility for providing a safe space for discussion very seriously.  If I am concerned about the risk of violence, then I will not convene a joint meeting.

And the safe space also relates to psychological safety. The joint meeting between the parties can be the stage in the process where ‘the magic happens’. It’s where I see the greatest shift in the dynamics between the parties. The parties need to feel safe to benefit from the opportunity to hear and be heard. And to reset the relationship that the joint meeting presents. If they don’t, then they are very unlikely to want to contribute to the discussion.

If they feel safe, they are more likely to engage and collaborate with the other parties. That collaboration allows them to identify, discuss and resolve the issues that have caused concerns. I’ve seen the greatest transformations in workplace mediations where the parties have been honest. And when they have shared what’s been going on for them, even where that has been painful. This is so critical. In their honesty, they expose their vulnerabilities to the others, often by describing the impact of the conflict on them. Without that psychological safety, the discussion is stuck, the issues are unresolved and the parties can’t move forward.

“The more we create psychological safety, the more we enjoy the rewards of rich connection, belonging, and collaboration. The less we create it, the more we suffer the bitterness and sting of isolation.”

The 4 Stages of Psychological Safety, Timothy R. Clark

Other concerns that may not necessarily mean that mediation is off the table

Parties often raise these issues as a reason not to mediate.  I like to explore them in more detail because, to me, they aren’t necessarily show stoppers.

• We’ve already put in our complaint to HR/ raised a case with ACAS/ sought legal advice: ok, but taking part in workplace mediation doesn’t close down your options to use any other proceedings. You can resolve the issues sooner though. That can reduce the stress of the whole situation.
• But the other person is a manager, so I won’t get a fair hearing: actually, workplace mediation opens up a safe space to have your voice heard. The process encourages the parties to engage in mutually respectful, adult to adult discussions.

• They’ll never change so what’s the point?: well, even if the other party doesn’t agree to everything that you want, you can be heard.  Workplace mediation gives you a chance to tell the other person what is causing concern for you.  You have the opportunity to share what the impact on you has been. Often, the other party has not fully appreciated what it’s like from your perspective.  The mediation also gives you a chance to learn about what is going on for them.  Why they are behaving as they are.  And what the impact of the issues have been on them.  This information can create a different shared understanding of the issues.  You may agree other actions too. But, even if that doesn’t happen, mediation often increases the empathy between parties. That can lead to changes and adjustments to behaviours later.

Conclusion

Workplace mediation offers a strongly effective way to resolve issues.  But it can’t resolve everything.  Ultimately, the scope for a mediation to be ‘successful’ depends on where the parties stand. It also depends how willing they are to take part.

If you are involved in a situation that is causing stress and worry, why not have a call with Pip? We can discuss the issues and consider opportunities to resolve those. Click here to send Pip a message and we’ll arrange a convenient time to talk it through.